Car horoscope for the week of December 17-23

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  1. Autohoroscope from 17 to 23 December
    • Aries
    • Taurus
    • Twins
    • Crayfish
    • a lion
    • Virgo
    • scales
    • Scorpion
    • Sagittarius
    • Capricorn
    • Aquarius
    • Fish


The snow swirls and does not melt, but lays down as a thick blanket on the asphalt, forcing drivers to curse and worry about traffic jams and difficult traffic situations. The situation in the stellar Ministry of Emergency Situations during these December days is tense, and the heavenly bodies warn us about snowstorms, ice phenomena and other winter problems. And the communal services have not yet come to their senses, and are perplexed: how did they overlook the onset of winter ?! On the other hand, the guys driving the special vehicles have fun driving along the tracks, scattering sand and shifting heaps to the side of the road (to the delight of pedestrians). To make the track successful, we will stick dolls and balls on our cars and celebrate the day of the registry office workers.

Autohoroscope from 17 to 23 December

Aries

Aries, even neat drivers are faced with brake disc problems - these things quickly lose shape due to overheating. The stars wondered what is better - to change, or to grind?! Think, decide and set off on a journey along the snow-covered paths - this winter week promises to be eventful. And pay attention to pedestrians - two-legged creatures look strange, and that's putting it mildly. The eyes are bulging, the complexion is yellow and there are four fingers on the hand - these are the Simpsons, because many years ago in December the first episode of the cartoon came out. So this is why the iron horse is so nervous - well, the car does not like this cartoon, and most of the drivers of your sign are not happy with it either.

Taurus

Taurus, check the presence of a tow rope - perhaps your help will be needed by drivers who have recently been behind the wheel and have not yet figured out the intricacies of driving on winter trails. But do not forget to take the string - this thing is not cheap. The stars have a suspicion that soon a liter of gasoline will be at the same price. Enough about the sad, because this road week will be interesting and fun. Just be careful on country roads - sheep, named Dolly, are jumping over the snowdrifts. Animals celebrate the day on which cloning was approved (it was in the UK). Then they seemed to be banned, but who knows. Look how many similar traffic cops are worth, and some pedestrians are like brothers.

Twins

Gemini, how you want to stretch your legs, or lie down - get over to the back seat. But first, find a driver you trust. Your horse is tender and will not let anyone behind the wheel. And then enjoy the music, gaze at the trees covered with hoarfrost, at the traffic cops sprinkled with fresh snow, and at mustachioed pedestrians with pipes in their mouths. With the two-legged, everything is clear - the guys are celebrating Stalin's birthday. The stars will not go deep into politics and nostalgia that during the reign of Joseph Vissarionovich, the roads were better and the driver was more responsible. Although it would be nice to return the leader for a day - let him disperse the traffic jams and have a conversation with the utilities.

Crayfish

Crayfish, the roads are wider and wider, and the traffic jams are getting longer - and where, one wonders, is the logic ?! Probably, the congestion will not disappear, even if the entire surface of the Earth becomes one large highway. Yes, pedestrians also need to be put somewhere, because they cannot move through the air. And it would be nice - let them fly to themselves, and not stand in a pillar on the zebras, pretending that they have forgotten where they were going. But back to the December paths - these days the chauffeurs of your sign will be happy with both the ride and the passengers. It remains to make friends with the traffic cops and make useful contacts in tire shops. And give a lift to the guys who are running along the side of the road with some incomprehensible gizmos in their hands - these are power engineers, and they have a professional holiday.

A lion

Lions, the stars are tired of watching a strange road situation, because this does not happen on the Milky Way. It is especially creepy to drive in the dark, and everything looks mysterious in the headlights. Trams are like monsters from horror films, buses are like monsters from children's horror stories, cars generally look like ghosts. And the drivers staged a rally and decide whether to stomp on foot, or wait for the road services to swing. Conclusion - in these December days it is better to sit at home, or hang around in the garage. Well, what, after all, you have long been going to clean up and throw away or sell wooden and rag rubbish. And with the proceeds, buy a souvenir for a typewriter - the iron horse will be delighted.

Virgo

Virgo, in these December days, be prepared for the strange questions of the traffic cops. Instead of demanding documents and asking why we are violating, they ask: Are you warm, drivers, are you warm, passengers ?! Maybe they are hinting that you let them into a cozy salon. Still, because they have a hard time - they jump up and try to get warm, and the frosts are getting stronger. Invite them into the trunk, you just recently cleaned up there, and there is enough room for even the most well-fed patrol boy. And do not pay attention to grumpy pedestrians - they "celebrate" the Day of the formation of the Pension Fund in Russia. This is really a holiday so a holiday (the stars would better keep silent).

Scales

Libra, lazy drivers slumber in garages, newbies try to master the art of driving by playing racing games on the computer, and only you rush forward, ignoring the warnings of weather forecasters. Be careful - the road situation is difficult in many regions. Although, you may be lucky and you drive an SUV or a special vehicle with such spinning brushes. And do not be alarmed if guys in uniform drop into the salon - these are ordinary military counterintelligence officers, and they have a professional holiday. Even the machine has become silent, and it drives you silently, listening to the whispers of these serious boys. Their salary seems to be quite good, so they will get rid of the fare - there will definitely be enough for gasoline.

Scorpion

Scorpions, you must agree that it is a shame to stall on a harmless hill and watch how impudent flashing lights and dashing foreign cars overtake you ?! The stars do not scare, but advise - start this December week with a trip to the workshop. Let the car doctors examine the car - even if not a single "sore" is found, it will still be calmer. And then drive out of town - it's fun there now. There, the children with red noses jumped out of the forest. These are not Santa Clauses, but fans of Yuri Nikulin. And they did not freeze at all, but celebrate the birthday of the wonderful actor and remember his role in the film Moonshiners. Just do not invite them to the salon - the horse does not tolerate the smell of alcohol.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, December is in full swing, but the drivers are not in a festive mood. And why rejoice, because the head is full of gasoline prices, insurance, and other car disgrace. But the stars are advised not to get upset. Better look out the window - snow is pouring in, drifts are growing, traffic jams are lengthening. And if you look at the traffic cops, there will be no trace of sadness at all, especially at the beginning of the winter week. Patrolmen celebrate the birthday of chemist Davy Humphrey and fool around like children. It's understandable, because this British experimenter accidentally discovered a "laughing" gas (although research was conducted before it) - show them a finger, let them laugh and forget why you were stopped.

Capricorn

Capricorns, everything is fixed and repaired - it's time to hit the road. There are no impassable trails for drivers this week - it feels like the horse has grown iron wings, and it jumps over obstacles without much effort. But remind your fellow travelers to buckle up - traffic cops are vigilant in December, and excuses that someone there just unfastened to get out won't work.And pay attention to the ladies who walk on zebras in stiletto heels and do not even react to the admiring whistle of the drivers. The girls celebrate Brad Pitt's birthday and expect that his cool car is about to appear, and the idol will take them to America to celebrate his anniversary.

Aquarius

Aquarians, you harness for a long time, but you drive fast - well done, because you need to prepare for any trip in advance. The stars suspect that you have a personal repairman in your garage, and where you just found him, share the address of the miracle company. And let the fellow travelers grumble and hurry as much as they like - if they don't want to wait, let them run to the bus stop, and then shake in the crowded bus. By the way, throw a pack of money into the glove compartment, because on these December days you can get anything you want, and even scarce spare parts for expensive wheelbarrows. Everyone celebrates the Day of the supplier - these guys can sell the goods without leaving the traffic jam. And what is in their trunks is just not - there, even toy traffic cops are lying around.

Fish

Fish, then frost, then thaw - it is not surprising that the December roads have become like ice skating grounds. Well, what, this is an idea - put the iron horse in a stall, look for skates in a heap of garage junk and ride to your health. But if you don’t want to join the pedestrian society, then it’s another matter - you have the steering wheel in your hands. If you are slowed down by bipeds in mesh masks, do not be alarmed and do not try to block the windows with doors. These are harmless beekeepers - they have not gone crazy, but just want to get to the apiary, read a special conspiracy and celebrate the national holiday Anna Dark. Give the kids a ride - maybe they have where the honey is hidden for treating good drivers.

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